The Lancia Delta Integrale makes a pants-on-head bonkers rally car, and it sounds amazing. Bonus: rally cars are street legal for transit stages anyway. Clearly, I have found Doug DeMuro's next car.
In my fruitless attempts to steer him towards a nice, sensible 911 GT3 Cup that would be far out of his budget, I seem to recall the words "Delta Integrale" coming up once or twice.
Listen to this Delta Integrale, Doug.
Listen to it with the speakers turned up to 11.
You can't say no to that. Clearly, this is the answer: buy a Delta Integrale (and rally it).
This car's rally suspension would laugh at Philadelphia's car-devouring potholes and fart in winter's general direction. It's the perfect car. Problem solved.
(Also, rally it. Buy one first, though.)