Photo credit: Clive Mason/Getty Images

With all the big names currently in Formula One under contract for 2017, Mercedes is having to get a bit creative with how they find Nico Rosberg’s replacement.

Rosberg shocked the world when he announced his retirement in early December, well after most drivers do. The team is left to figure out who can replace him well after most teams solidified their line-ups for 2017.

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While Mercedes probably has the budget to hire away anyone they actually want, they’re making fun of the locked-down state of the driver market this late in the year by placing this desperate-sounding ad in Autosport under the heading “Drives Available.”

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Here’s a clearer copy to enjoy:

Necessary skills include steering, braking and accelerating (with particular emphasis on the last one), and prior possession of the FIA Super Licence needed to participate is listed as “an advantage.”

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Personally, I’m a bit intrigued by the list of benefits. Don’t worry if incident-prone Pastor Maldonado somehow gets back onto the grid—they’ve got medical coverage!

Curiously, the ad doesn’t delve into the desired relationship Mercedes wants from this hire with teammate Lewis Hamilton. Those of you stressing over your hat-tossing skills can take it easy.