Nine-time world champion Sebastien Loeb is making a one-off return to the WRC in 2015 for the season opener Rallye Monte Carlo. He crossed the finish line of the first stage only minutes ago and, uh, holy crap.

On the 13 mile (21.31km) stage, Loeb was 22 seconds quicker than the next fastest driver, and a half minute faster than the reigning double-world champion Sebastien Ogier.

Without split timing, Loeb only found out about his result when reporters told him.

When asked about how he felt beating his young protege by some 30 seconds, Loeb told the microphones in his face that he thought he was going slow the whole time. "We are completely stopped," he said he remarked to his codriver on the stage, which was a constantly changing series of patches of ice, then snow, then bare pavement.

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You can't take all your results for the Monte from the first stage, but this is proof that Loeb is still as fast as ever, years after he retired from full-time rallying.

UPDATE: After Special Stage 2 Loeb is now a ~~~~mere~~~~ 13 seconds ahead of the field, but still crazy fast. Loeb is a robot. Loeb is a being from space. Loeb comes from another dimension.