Everyone loves the Tesla P85D. Two motors. Lots of instant electric torque. Room to terrify the whole family. But you know what's cooler? A 1980s Porsche. That's right. This Porsche 944 is faster than everyone's favorite modern tech wonderboy.

If you tl;dr'd our earlier P85D vs. Hellcat post or have the reading skills of someone who thinks "big wurdz R hard," you may have mistaken that post on driver fail as "I HATE THIS SITE! YOU GUYS JUST SHILL FOR TESLA!"

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Oh no no no no no. Bless your hearts, no. I only shill for crusty old Porsches around here.

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[Full disclosure: The Porsche 944 has given me many, many oil spots on the ground, several months of poverty and a fun nastygram about "inoperable vehicles" from my landlord.]

Sure, this Porsche 944 may have had a few things done to it, like a full electric conversion, but it's still a 944. Better yet, it was built by the Miramar High School EV Team. That's right. A bunch of high schoolers built a 944, and it's crazy enough to make Tesla owners everywhere drop a single tear into their pumpkin spice lattes.

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"This thing...why is this thing so fast?"

Here is the list of specifications on the "Black Pearl" Porsche 944 build, per Inside EVs:

944 Porsche
Motor 2 – Netgain 9″ Warp Motors
Drive Train 2 Motors coupled tail shaft to input shaft via chain coupling. Motors coupled to rear Porsche transaxle via stock drive shaft and torque tube (clutchless design).
Battery Manufacturer, Model, and Voltage HTS Lithium Cells designed and configured by High Tech Systems LLC, Denver Colorado – 274 Volts total
Posted GVW, Total Vehicle Weight GVW-3430; Total weight 2450
Controller Zilla Z2K HV
Charger Manzanita Micro PFC 30
Suspension and Steering Stock Porsche
Safety Features Controller and ALL High Voltage components enclosed in waterproof electrical enclosure.
Highly reinforced battery enclosures
Multiple battery fuses
Mechanical motive voltage disconnect
Complete HTS Battery Management system
Conversion Timetable Vehicle conversion from 2005 to date. Vehicle is continually updated for performance and safety.

Keep in mind that the minimum weight for a Spec 944 is 2,600 lbs. This sucker's not just packed full of delicious electric torque, but it's extremely lightweight for a 944 on top of that.

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Here's the video of the run itself. I'll just excuse myself to a corner where I can squee in peace.

The 944 posted a 10.50 quarter mile to the P85D's 11.90. I'm in love.

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This just goes to show you that there's no replacement for...batteries? Batteries and light weight, I guess? Sure, let's go with that.

[H/T Inside EVs]